Is It Really My Grandchild Calling? How to Spot a Family Emergency Scam

What this helps with: What to do when someone calls, texts, or messages saying a grandchild or other family member is in trouble and needs money fast, and how to set up a family safe word before it happens.

The short answer: Hang up and call your family member yourself, at a number you already know. A real emergency can wait two minutes while you check. A scam can’t.

How the scam usually goes

The FTC, FBI, and AARP say these calls often follow the same story:

1. “Grandma, it’s me.” The caller cries or speaks softly, or says they have a broken nose or a bad line, to explain why they sound different. Some scammers use AI to copy a real voice.
2. Something terrible happened. They were arrested, were in a car crash, or got hurt on a trip. Scammers may name a place your family member really went, after seeing it on social media.
3. Someone “official” gets on the line. A “lawyer,” “police officer,” or “bail bondsman” tells you how much to pay.
4. “Please don’t tell Mom and Dad.” They may say there’s a “gag order.” Secrecy keeps you from checking.
5. They want money right now, and in a way that’s hard to get back: cash, gift cards, a wire transfer, a payment app, or crypto.

Watch out for these two tricks:

• “Someone will come pick up the cash.” The FBI warns that scammers send a courier, or even a ride-share driver, to your home to collect it.
• “Put the cash in the mail.” The FTC says scammers tell people to hide bills between the pages of a magazine and mail them.

Good to know: Caller ID can be faked to show a name or number you trust. And AARP says real police don’t call family members to collect bail money.

What to do if you get a call like this

1. Take a breath. Scammers want you upset so you’ll act fast. It’s okay to slow down.
2. Hang up, or say, “I’ll call you right back.” You don’t have to explain.
3. Call your family member at a number you already know is theirs. Don’t use a number the caller gave you.
4. Can’t reach them? Call someone else in the family or a close friend. Do this even if the caller said to keep it secret.
5. Not ready to hang up? Ask a question only the real person would know, like “What’s the dog’s name?” or “Where did we have Thanksgiving last year?”
6. Don’t give your address, and don’t hand cash to anyone who comes to your door for it.

Set up a family safe word

A safe word (also called a code word) is a simple way to know it’s really them. AARP and the FBI both suggest it.

1. Pick a word or short phrase that’s easy to remember but hard to guess, like “blue pancakes.” Don’t use a pet’s name or anything posted online.
2. Share it in person or by phone, not in a group text or on social media.
3. Agree on the rule: anyone who calls asking for money in an emergency must say the safe word.
4. No safe word? Hang up and call them back yourself.

Worried you’ll forget the word? AARP suggests using a family story only your family would know instead.

A good time to set it up: when family visits for the holidays. It takes two minutes at the kitchen table.

Make it harder for scammers to find your family

• Set social media to private so only people you know can see your posts and photos.
• Think before posting trips. Scammers use travel posts to make their story sound real.
• Turn on your phone’s spam call blocking. See our guide to blocking spam calls.

If you already sent money

Act fast. The sooner you call, the better your chances.

1. Call your bank or card company right away. Ask if they can stop or reverse the payment.
2. Mailed cash? Call the Postal Service, UPS, or FedEx (whichever you used) right away and give them the tracking number. The FTC says some people have stopped the delivery this way.
3. Sent a wire? Call Western Union at 800-448-1492 or MoneyGram at 800-926-9400.
4. Paid with gift cards? See Someone Wants Me to Pay with a Gift Card. Is It a Scam?
5. Report it to your local police. It’s a crime.
6. Report it to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and to the FBI at ic3.gov.

This is not your fault. These scammers fool careful, loving people every day. Telling someone helps stop them.

For free, friendly help:

• AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline: 877-908-3360 (Monday to Friday, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. ET). You don’t need to be an AARP member.
• National Elder Fraud Hotline (U.S. Department of Justice): 833-372-8311 (Monday to Friday, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. ET). Help for people 60 and older, in English, Spanish, and other languages.

Want more ways to stay safe? See our guides to AI scams and voice clones, spotting a scam, and scams on social media.

Official sources

• FTC: Scammers use fake emergencies to steal your money
• FTC: Don’t open your door to grandparent scams
• FTC: Putting cash in the mail
• FBI: Grandparent fraud scheme using couriers
• AARP: Grandparent scams
• U.S. Department of Justice: National Elder Fraud Hotline
• AARP: Fraud Watch Network Helpline
• FTC: Report fraud

Last checked: Oct 22, 2026

This is general help, not personalized tech support, and not legal or financial advice. It covers the U.S. If you think you’ve lost money, contact your bank or card company and the official sources above.